It's Only a Number
by chocoyum4
Summary: Sometimes you meet someone who helps you become who you're meant to be. And then sometimes you meet someone else who changes that and makes you something better. One-shot DM/HG


It's Only a Number

It had been four months two weeks and three days since they had spoken, and five months and six days since they had stopped seeing each other. Hermione didn't mean to remember the days, but every time she looked at a calendar she couldn't help it. You couldn't just stop the way your mind works.

They had dated for almost a year when she had cut things off. She hadn't wanted too, but he was going nowhere in life while she was moving forward at a fast pace. Ron had been one of her best friends since forever it seemed like. She could barely remember her life without him or Harry. They had become such an important part of who she was that being without Ron felt like a piece of her soul was missing. And yet, Hermione knew that if she had stayed with Ron she would have ended up resenting him.

Hermione had gone off to further her studies, and attain a magical law degree while Ron had stayed home and was working in the Quidditch supply shop in Hogsmeade. He knew that he couldn't work there forever, but he hadn't bothered to look into anything else. Harry was slowly moving up the ranks in the Auror's office, and Ron could have joined him, but he liked the hours the shop was giving him.

Then there was Lavender Brown. Heroine hadn't much liked her when they were at school together, but they had been friends, until both girls had started to like Ron, and Ron had chosen Hermione over Lavender. Lavender hated Hermione, and there was no love lost on her end either. Hermione was usually one to have a problem with who Ron was hanging out with, but Lavender was working at Madame Puddifoot's in Hogsmeade and was always hanging around the Quidditch shop. Hermione couldn't stand all the time they were spending together when she couldn't be there. And she knew Lavender was trying to squeeze her way in between Hermione and Ron, but Ron refused to see it.

Ron wasn't passionate about her. At least not like he was about Quidditch, and that wouldn't last forever. Someday he would be unable to play, and he'd have no way of supporting himself.

No, it wouldn't have done Hermione any good to stay with Ron unless he changed. Yet, her heart longed for him. Maybe it was the familiarity of being with him, and it was definitely the missed friendship. She missed talking to him, and being able to tell him things. She hadn't been able to tell him about her mother falling ill.

They had tried to remain friends, and they still were, but until they had both healed, Ron had cut off communication with her. Hermione knew that he'd owl her back when he was ready, but she felt a little lost without him. She couldn't tell him the good things that were happening, and she couldn't tell him that she was falling apart.

She had told Harry some of it, but he was busy with the Auror department, and she was busy with school so their friendship had waned a little. Nothing was the same anymore, it seemed as if the world was turning upside down. Hermione felt more alone than ever. She hadn't felt so alone since her first two months as a first year at Hogwarts.

But as the months wore on, the weeks passed more and more quickly, and the days began to fly by again, Hermione found that she wasn't so alone. She had found an unlikely friend in Draco Malfoy of all people.

Draco had changed. The war had changed them all, but Draco especially. He had also chosen to pursue magical law, but he had started school the shell of the person he was at Hogwarts. He had grown so much from the boy that he used to be, and Hermione had been able to see that because they shared many of the same classes.

Hermione had been able to turn to him when she lost Ron and Harry. Draco had picked up the pieces of Hermione's soul and was helping her put them back together. But when you let somebody touch your soul, they change it forever. Draco had held her while she cried over her mother, and the fact that she couldn't tell the one person she cared about the most. He had helped her forget her sadness, and made her come out of her room. He was changing her.

"Hermione, what did you get for number seven? I can't decide between Admiralty law, and Business law." Draco said looking up from the busy work their professor had given them.

"Admiralty law," Hermione said without looking up from her textbook.

Draco hmphed, and continued with his work. An hour or so later he sighed and stretched, he had lost complete interest in what he had been working on. The blond glanced over at his curly haired companion, and studied her quietly until she felt his gaze on her.

"If you concentrated harder you could be done with the worksheet by now," Hermione quipped still not looking up from her work.

Draco chuckled and placed his hands behind his head, leaning back, making his crisp button down shirt ride up a little on his torso, exposing a bit of nicely toned flesh that Hermione pretended not to notice. _I will not let him distract me_, she thought as she tried to ignore the fluttering in her stomach. _I'm not ready for that_, she told herself, _I'm still not over him_. "I've got time, it's not due for another two classes. Besides, it's a Saturday, and the rain has stopped." Hermione finally looked up from her assignment to see him smirking at her. "Fancy a walk around the grounds?"

Hermione rolled her eyes and glanced back at her unfinished homework. Draco noticed and quickly snatched her work from in front of her. "Malfoy!" Hermione exclaimed loudly, getting several shushes in the process. Draco grinned, and soundlessly sent both his and her work into their respective satchels. Hermione glared at him as he took both the bags and slung them over his shoulder. "Come along now Granger, we're going to let the sun color your pale skin."

"You're one to talk," Hermione scoffed as she followed her companion out of the library and towards his dorm room where Draco unceremoniously dropped their bags. He then draped his arm around Hermione's shoulders and led her into the sun. Hermione tried to ignore how she liked the weight of his arm on her shoulders, and instead focused on the trail her feet were taking.

oOoOoOo

"Pst. Granger." Plink!

Hermione groaned and rolled onto her stomach, shoving her head underneath her pillow.

"Granger," her name came a little louder now, and the sound of another acorn hitting her window reached her ears. "Hermione!"

The brunette witch growled as she slid off her bed and shuffled grumpily to the window hoping that Draco hadn't woken up her roommate. "What?" She whisper yelled down to the annoying blond ferret standing three floors below her.

"Come outside! There's something I want to show you!" Draco said.

"No! It's after curfew, and it's cold! We've got class tomorrow Draco, what in Merlin's name are you thinking?"

"Oh have a little fun Granger, I'll be waiting for you," and with the Draco began to make his way to the front entrance of her dorm so he could meet her.

_He's just going to come back and keep making a racket if I don't appease him_, Hermione reasoned with herself. _It's not like I want to go, but I'll have to if I want to return to bed_, she thought as she pulled on her trainers. Grabbing her coat, she silently slipped out of her room and soon found herself outside following Draco.

"Where are you taking me?" Hermione asked, wrapping her arms tightly around her body.

"Shh," Draco replied, "You'll see." Hermione rolled her eyes, the action going unnoticed by Draco. Quite suddenly the blond wizard stopped, and turned to face Hermione. "Close your eyes," he said. She did as she was told without asking, a rare feat within itself, and allowed him to take her hands and lead her from that point. When they stopped again, Draco kept a hold of one of her hands and told her she could open her eyes.

When she did, a small gasp escaped her lips. The fairies were out and dancing in the moonlight upon the small lake that was on the grounds of the wizarding university. Hermione wasn't able to return to sleep until the next night.

oOoOoOo

Hermione sat the table she and Draco usually occupied in the library, starting at the letter in front of her. She hadn't opened it yet. Her hands were shaking too much. It had been five months one week and four days since she had received an owl from him. Five months one week and four days. The numbers kept scrolling through her mind. Repeating over and over and over. Five months one week and four days.

Draco found her that way when he finally arrived and plopped his bag down next to hers. "What've you got there Hermione?" He asked, looking over her shoulder.

"Five months one week and four days," she whispered. Draco took a step back. He knew what those numbers meant. He thought she had stopped counting, he thought he had made her forget him, and he had for a little while. What he didn't realize was just how much of Ron had gone into making Hermione Granger who she had become during their seven accumulated years at Hogwarts. What he also didn't realize was how much she had changed from that Hermione Granger into who Draco had helped her become.

He didn't see how she still strived to know the answers, but didn't flaunt her intelligence anymore. He didn't see that because she didn't have to play mom to Harry and Ron, she could let go and relax with him. He didn't see that he had chipped off the sharp and rough edges that Hermione's personality had developed. All he could see was the hurt in her eyes that it had taken five months one week and four days for Ron to owl her, and all he could feel was a deep hurt that she had still counted all those days.

"Are you going to read it?" Draco asked.

Hermione nodded, but didn't reach for the letter. She couldn't find her Gryffindor bravery at the moment. Apparently the owl had taken it as payment for the letter it had dropped off.

"Well," Draco said slowly sliding into a seat beside her, "let's focus on today's assignment and you can read it after dinner tonight. Yeah?"

Hermione nodded and pulled out her books, but only stared at the page she had cracked it open to. A thousand thoughts were running through her head. Every moment she had wanted to break down and write him was being relived. Every single thing she had wanted to tell him over the last five months one week and four days was threatening to spill out of her. In retrospect, five months one week and four days didn't seem like a terribly long time, but it had felt like a lifetime.

Draco didn't know what to do. So he let her sit there quietly while he tried to focus on his work. He didn't know what to say to comfort her, all he could think was that he hoped she wouldn't take him back. She wasn't the same person that had started school with him nine months one week and two days ago.

Finally, it began to grow dark, and Draco packed up his things. Hermione still hadn't moved from her position, and Draco felt something stir in his chest. "Hermione?" Hermione jerked her head up at the sound of her name and looked at him for the first time since he had seen her that morning. "Look, I know it's been a long time since you've talked to him, five months one week and four days, right?" At her nod he continued, "But, it's been nine months one week and two days since we started school, and it's been seven months two weeks and five days since we became friends. You don't know this, but it's been six months three weeks and one day since I knew that I had a crush on you, five months one week and four days since I knew that I'd do anything to make you smile again, and two months two weeks and four days since I thought that I might be in love with you." Draco swallowed nervously, "All I'm saying is, is that they're just numbers. They don't mean anything. All that matters is what you've learned from one point to the next, and how you feel about things now. I can't tell you what to do, what to say, or how to feel. It's your life, and you've got to decide if you want to live in the past or in the present looking towards the future. I'll be here like usual, no matter what you decide to do." With that, Draco slung his satchel over his shoulder and walked out of the library.

oOoOoOo

Hermione spent several more hours looking at the letter before she packed up her things and walked back to her dorm. The cool spring breeze helped clear her head as she tried to decide what she was going to do.

No matter what the letter said, Hermione knew that she couldn't go back to the way things were with Ron. Her life was too different now to be able to do that. And her treacherous heart didn't even want Ron that way anymore. Her mind did though, because it was too scared of the implications of Draco's speech this afternoon in the library.

With none of her thoughts giving her peace, Hermione finally decided to read Ron's letter. When she was finished she threw it on the ground, and leaned her head back against the wall in anguish. Why couldn't he have made her choice easy? Why did he have to say that he still loved her and that he was trying to do better, and he wanted to try again?

Thank goodness Hermione's roommate was staying elsewhere that night because Hermione couldn't control the flood of tears that escaped her eyes. Her heart hurt because she didn't know what she wanted. She wasn't the same Hermione Granger from five months one week and four days ago. She had become someone a little bit different. The old Hermione Granger would have taken Ron back in a second, and while the new one still missed him terribly, she couldn't return to the way things were, even though he was promising to do better. He had quit his job and was working for his dad at the ministry. He was doing all of that for her, and she didn't want him doing it for her. She wanted him to do it for him.

When her tears finally subsided, Hermione was able to drift off to sleep, but when morning came, she went to class as usual, but she didn't go to the library. In fact, it was several days before she ventured back into the library. She hoped that it wasn't too late because she had made her choice.

The night before when she had finally written Ron back, she explained that she missed him more than she'd like to admit, but that she missed his friendship more than their relationship. She had chosen to continue moving forward with her life, and that meant exploring what her friendship with Draco would look like in the future.

Hermione fiddled with the strap of her book bag as she turned the corner that led to the little alcove where she and Draco usually studied. When she saw Draco sitting there silently scribbling away on some parchment, she nearly sighed with relief. "Hello," she said after a moment, biting her lip.

Draco looked up and grinned at her, "Hello," he said pulling back the chair next to him.

Hermione shyly took the seat offered to her and began taking out her homework. They studied in awkward silence before Hermione couldn't take it anymore and slammed her book closed. Draco looked up sharply, and their eyes connected.

"I read his letter," Hermione finally said.

"Ok," Draco replied.

Hermione licked her lips and glanced away before returning to stare into his churning silver eyes, "He said that he still loves me." Draco suddenly became unnaturally still, "I told him that I was sorry, and I didn't love him like that anymore." A visible weight seemed to be lifted off Draco's shoulders. "Five months one week and four days is only just a number after all. And all those numbers are in the past. If you'll let me, I'd like to live in the present… with you."

Draco smiled and took Hermione's had, "Of course."

Hermione returned his smile, and scooted her chair closer to his so they could continue working together. And Hermione resolved to start counting her days in a new way. No longer would she be counting backwards from the present, but forwards, and today marked day number one.

**For those of you who remember me, hello! And the same to those of you who don't know me at all. I'm happy to say that I'm beginning to find my muse again, and I hope that this one-shot will be the beginning of several more writing sprees. Thank you very much to all of you who read it, and please leave a review to tell me what y'all thought!**

**~chocoyum4~**


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